Thursday, February 3, 2011

No End to What they try to shove in me!

That title says it all. I am going to have to go under two medical procedures in the next two months... A tooth implant and a colonoscopy. There are no ends to the amount of things they are going to try to insert into my body. The tooth implant is to replace a missing tooth, that I lost while eating a hot dog. Damn hot dogs. The will have to first insert a threaded cylinder that will act as root for my "bionic" tooth. That sounds like so much fun.

Then in early March I am going to have a colonoscopy. The send what I call a "sea-snake" up my rectum, just short of Bellingham. And the doctor doesn't even take me out to dinner first. In fact he wrote me a prescription to give me violent diarrhea the night before. And my pre-op instructions state I can only have a clear diet of broth and jello- except no red jello (WTF? the only good flavors of Jello are Red ones) Sounds like a real nice two days. Any-hoo, If some of my future posts seem a little hard to follow, (more than usual)that is because I am on drugs. Trying to heal my sore gum and my sore butthole.

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