staff at Trader Joe's (along with some customers) laughed at me. This time, I prayed to Red Green for wisdom, and of course he answered my prayers... "Use the Duct Tape". So I simply took a grocery bag, covered it in silver duct tape, and used some of my fancy flamed duct tape for a border around the top and to make handles. The Handels are simply long strips of duct tape folded over on itself and shoved through a hole in the bag and knotted then a corresponding hole on 4" away. I think it turned out pretty sweet.
I can't wait to go to Trader Joe's tomorrow!